Ten perfectly acceptable minutes after touching ground, the plane taxis into the gate as it melodically beep beep beeps us a warm welcome into the Atlanta airport...G and I have been separated by a row and an aisle during the two-hour flight from Newark yet the isolating nature of those darn airplane seats kept him out of view the entire time. Ugggghhh the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign...thank you Jesus...let's get off this plane...G and I quickly become single file sheep of the obedient flock making our way to the terminal...the rain, the heat, the strollers, the grandmas...move over we have another plane to catch.... Just then in perfect slow motion harmony with my right foot stepping onto the escalator, my left hand is suspended by the 28 soul tingling nerves of G's right hand....once again, thank you Jesus.
the reach, the search, the trust, the comfort....is there a better moment than this?
I don't think any of us can say that we've ever not noticed a hand holding. How could we? I mean we are human...our hearts are beating, our blood is flowing and our brains are buzzing...when our hand is held....boy can we feel it. I can't help but think that if the eyes are the windows to the soul, then the hands must be the doors. We unlocked those doors when we first welcomed our babies into our lives...didn't we all slip our fingers into the tiny palms of our newborns amazed at the responsorial grip they bestowed on us? Oh my gosh....did you see that? he squeezed my finger so tight! that is amazing...here, you try...
And then the countless days of toddlerhood, hand-in-hand, are what really paints a life...those palm-on-palm, skin-to-skin moments prime and prep us for all the colorful hand-holding to come.
Our hands reach for each other's hands for so many reasons...but mainly to communicate in a way that words cannot..to comfort a friend, to reassure a child, to offer hope and condolence, to say I am here for you...truly, holding hands whispers I believe you and I believe in you.
So close your eyes and think about the milestones, the moments that matter......your hands were not dangling free, aimless and alone. They were nestled in the palm of another's hand...in the doorway of another's soul.
OneLove
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The House That Built Me
The days are few and far between when I don't blab incessantly about my song of the week.....ok so why stop now? My opening number this week every morning in the shower and then again at the matinee in the Volvo and any other random moment of musical urge is Miranda Lambert's The House That Built Me. (watch video above)
What I gather on day one is that the song gives hope and promise that our remedies are found in our memories. The lyrics lead us home to our little girl beds and our little boy bunks, tucked in tight, somebody we love turns out the light. Our pretty little houses still decorate our pretty little streets...If only we could run up those steps one more time and swing that door open to see mommy standing there. If we could sit on the red couch, the one with the Vermont snow scene, and run our hands across the worn spot one more time. And then stand in the corner of the kitchen and watch the five of us whisper and giggle til the fruit cocktail was gone or the milk was spilled. One more game of running bases and one more talent show .....
Ok so that was Sunday's take.
But here comes Monday...well by now I know every verse, every word, every chord....by now I've sang the song 27 times...but by the beginning of the 28th encore, things start to add up.....and stir up.
Exactly where is the house that built me? Is there a house that built me? wait a minute....I've lived in alot of houses...hmmmm.
I suppose it was this morning when I realized that my house is that mansion on the hill that has sheltered, comforted, and protected me from the elements and forces of human nature that can storm all over a well-lived life.
My house has been expanded and remodeled through the years...it's been demolished and built back again....always looking better and feeling stronger than its previous state. My house has lots of room, plenty of space where I store my memories in sturdy little boxes that will never need replacing. I frame the defining moments and decorate the walls with my original works of art...the ones I am most proud of, the ones that are getting older and wiser and more beautiful every day.
Every mile, every turn, my house follows me...welcomes me back each and every time. There's a stillness that sits beneath the laughter and the tears that have occupied my house. Music travels through the rooms, filling the spaces left between love and loss.
To Italy, the islands or back to the coast, my house is coming with me; I have to make more room and fill more boxes. I have to paint the walls so my framed works of art will always look as good as they make me feel. I have to rearrange the furniture and freshen things up...I never know who's next to arrive or how long they'll stay. I must organize the boxes, making sure thre is plenty of room for the moments, the smiles, the tiny little stones that are left for me by people like you.
Poets can say it or Miranda can sing it, but I'm going to live it...by keeping my memories dust free and accessible in my mansion on the hill where I can hold on to the things I love, the things I am, and the things I never want to lose.
OneLove
What I gather on day one is that the song gives hope and promise that our remedies are found in our memories. The lyrics lead us home to our little girl beds and our little boy bunks, tucked in tight, somebody we love turns out the light. Our pretty little houses still decorate our pretty little streets...If only we could run up those steps one more time and swing that door open to see mommy standing there. If we could sit on the red couch, the one with the Vermont snow scene, and run our hands across the worn spot one more time. And then stand in the corner of the kitchen and watch the five of us whisper and giggle til the fruit cocktail was gone or the milk was spilled. One more game of running bases and one more talent show .....
Ok so that was Sunday's take.
But here comes Monday...well by now I know every verse, every word, every chord....by now I've sang the song 27 times...but by the beginning of the 28th encore, things start to add up.....and stir up.
Exactly where is the house that built me? Is there a house that built me? wait a minute....I've lived in alot of houses...hmmmm.
I suppose it was this morning when I realized that my house is that mansion on the hill that has sheltered, comforted, and protected me from the elements and forces of human nature that can storm all over a well-lived life.
My house has been expanded and remodeled through the years...it's been demolished and built back again....always looking better and feeling stronger than its previous state. My house has lots of room, plenty of space where I store my memories in sturdy little boxes that will never need replacing. I frame the defining moments and decorate the walls with my original works of art...the ones I am most proud of, the ones that are getting older and wiser and more beautiful every day.
Every mile, every turn, my house follows me...welcomes me back each and every time. There's a stillness that sits beneath the laughter and the tears that have occupied my house. Music travels through the rooms, filling the spaces left between love and loss.
To Italy, the islands or back to the coast, my house is coming with me; I have to make more room and fill more boxes. I have to paint the walls so my framed works of art will always look as good as they make me feel. I have to rearrange the furniture and freshen things up...I never know who's next to arrive or how long they'll stay. I must organize the boxes, making sure thre is plenty of room for the moments, the smiles, the tiny little stones that are left for me by people like you.
Poets can say it or Miranda can sing it, but I'm going to live it...by keeping my memories dust free and accessible in my mansion on the hill where I can hold on to the things I love, the things I am, and the things I never want to lose.
OneLove
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Let's Talk About the C Word
Whoa whoa whoa....pick your head up. You know me better than that. I want to talk about coincidence.
This is a big C word, a worthy C word, a C word I have heard alot about lately. This C word has become very important to me.
A co-incident occurred last week while driving in the car with Connor during one of our many treasured roundtrips for baseball. To the game I began to tell him about an old song that had special meaning to me growing up. I dissected the good parts, the lyrics, the meat and the heart of this lovesong as I promised to download it for him the next day. I told him it's called Thank You, by Led Zeppelin and should be added to his virtual list of classics and must-knows. Well, we arrived at our destination, played two ballgames, hopped back in the car, jumped on the trace, got caught in one of our angry southern storms, and as coincidence would have it turned the radio on and .........there it was, in all its 1969 glory, feeling just like the first time it christened my ears..... if the sun refused to shine, i'll still be lovin' you; if mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.
WHAT???? OMG Connor, this is the song....turn it up, listen...OMG I can't believe it...what is going on here? Why does this always happen to us?? there it is, say it again. Why does this always happen to us?
Why DOES this always happen to us?
Because some of us are awake and alert to the signs that life holds up for us. They are meant to be read and followed. Coincidence is a message from our universe....okay a little less new-agey way of saying it would be that coincidence is a high sign...letting us know we are on the right path. We are moving in the right direction. You see coincidence occurs when we are at a crossroads in our lives, we feel lost in a way and are unable to find a direction. We are seeking answers to life's mysteries, and our questions are foremost in our minds. So we seek Divine help and then we quiet down so we can hear, we open our eyes so that we can see, our minds become still and we invite the answer. That's when coincidences occur. When we are ready for them.
This powerful phenomenon unfolds in a myriad of ways, a chance encounter, an unexpected visitor, the number on the license plate in front of you, a dream with similarities to real-life events, a random remark made by someone in your office, a phrase in a book you are reading, a text message delivered at the perfect time, the source can be as diverse as life itself. I believe that the more attuned you are to your higher self, the more you become aware of the meaning of coincidence. Our problems are not in finding the answers; our problems are in identifying the questions.
Can you see how the Led Zeppelin radio story signified and legitimized my involvement in Connor's life? I gave him exposure to powerful soul-soothing lyrics because I am in tune with his emotional needs. The coincidence of the radio play was a confirmation and an affirmation to us both. The question was answered.
So how can you get your questions right? You'll need to poke around and probe your feelings and intuitions. Know what your fears are, your anxieties, your true moments of happiness, your spiritual connections. You need to know what feels right and what feels wrong, what feels loving to you, what reassures you, what is working in your life and what is not. You'll need to put in the work, take a long hard look at your innermost center. You will begin to sense what your core questions are for which you seek answers. At that point, coincidences will begin to kick in. They will point you in the right direction gently nudging you to the right answers, the right decisions to help you reach your goals and dreams.
When you acknowledge how meaningful these coincidences are and the positive changes they bring about, the more you attract such life-changing events.
So if you happen to meet a stranger who lives 3,255 miles away, but to you it feels like home, don't ask, why? and don't ask, what are the chances? Because the chances are 100%.
OneLove
This is a big C word, a worthy C word, a C word I have heard alot about lately. This C word has become very important to me.
A co-incident occurred last week while driving in the car with Connor during one of our many treasured roundtrips for baseball. To the game I began to tell him about an old song that had special meaning to me growing up. I dissected the good parts, the lyrics, the meat and the heart of this lovesong as I promised to download it for him the next day. I told him it's called Thank You, by Led Zeppelin and should be added to his virtual list of classics and must-knows. Well, we arrived at our destination, played two ballgames, hopped back in the car, jumped on the trace, got caught in one of our angry southern storms, and as coincidence would have it turned the radio on and .........there it was, in all its 1969 glory, feeling just like the first time it christened my ears..... if the sun refused to shine, i'll still be lovin' you; if mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me.
WHAT???? OMG Connor, this is the song....turn it up, listen...OMG I can't believe it...what is going on here? Why does this always happen to us?? there it is, say it again. Why does this always happen to us?
Why DOES this always happen to us?
Because some of us are awake and alert to the signs that life holds up for us. They are meant to be read and followed. Coincidence is a message from our universe....okay a little less new-agey way of saying it would be that coincidence is a high sign...letting us know we are on the right path. We are moving in the right direction. You see coincidence occurs when we are at a crossroads in our lives, we feel lost in a way and are unable to find a direction. We are seeking answers to life's mysteries, and our questions are foremost in our minds. So we seek Divine help and then we quiet down so we can hear, we open our eyes so that we can see, our minds become still and we invite the answer. That's when coincidences occur. When we are ready for them.
This powerful phenomenon unfolds in a myriad of ways, a chance encounter, an unexpected visitor, the number on the license plate in front of you, a dream with similarities to real-life events, a random remark made by someone in your office, a phrase in a book you are reading, a text message delivered at the perfect time, the source can be as diverse as life itself. I believe that the more attuned you are to your higher self, the more you become aware of the meaning of coincidence. Our problems are not in finding the answers; our problems are in identifying the questions.
Can you see how the Led Zeppelin radio story signified and legitimized my involvement in Connor's life? I gave him exposure to powerful soul-soothing lyrics because I am in tune with his emotional needs. The coincidence of the radio play was a confirmation and an affirmation to us both. The question was answered.
So how can you get your questions right? You'll need to poke around and probe your feelings and intuitions. Know what your fears are, your anxieties, your true moments of happiness, your spiritual connections. You need to know what feels right and what feels wrong, what feels loving to you, what reassures you, what is working in your life and what is not. You'll need to put in the work, take a long hard look at your innermost center. You will begin to sense what your core questions are for which you seek answers. At that point, coincidences will begin to kick in. They will point you in the right direction gently nudging you to the right answers, the right decisions to help you reach your goals and dreams.
When you acknowledge how meaningful these coincidences are and the positive changes they bring about, the more you attract such life-changing events.
So if you happen to meet a stranger who lives 3,255 miles away, but to you it feels like home, don't ask, why? and don't ask, what are the chances? Because the chances are 100%.
OneLove
Monday, July 12, 2010
Attachment - Breaking the Invisible Iron Chains
You can begin to lessen the emotional load and reveal your ability to experience true love when you can swallow this BIG GIANT PILL:
Attachment is based on your selfishness; If you are good to me, then I'll be good to you. If you love my children, I will love yours. If you tell me I'm pretty, I will tell you you're handsome. If you give me a gift, I will like you. If your interests are the same as mine, I will include you in my plans. If you help make my life easier, I will like you even better. Be honest....how many of us condition our relationships this way?
Attachment leads to possessiveness...MY friend, MY wife, MY husband, MY family...but at some point we all realize that we cannot own people. So possessiveness leads to FEAR of losing, fake affection out of fear, overprotection, jealousy, abuse or sometimes even the feeling of "I can't live without this person, I can't be happy without my car, my house, my boat, my job, my jewelry, my on and on and on....
I'm leading to the point that love with attachment consists of waves of emotion, up and down, in and out...creating invisible iron chains. Ordinary love can create bonds which may turn unpleasant because this ordinary love is based on selfishness. WE ARE ATTRACTED TO OTHERS BECAUSE THEY HELP US. This attraction causes an attachment which is an obstacle in being able to live happily together with the person.
Ordinary love asks How can this relationship fullfil MY needs?
Real love asks What can I do for YOU?
Attachment and ordinary love make us think we are seeing perfection in another person. Is it really there? No. Is this perfection we are looking for achievable? No. We are simply closing our eyes to the negatives because WE are being served well in this ordinary love.
I love this story and I think it will help illustrate my point:
One afternoon, Nasruddin and his friend were sitting in a cafe, drinking tea and talking about life and love. His friend asked: 'How come you never married?'
'Well,' said Nasruddin, 'to tell you the truth, I spend my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo I met a beautiful and intelligent woman, but she was unkind. Then in Baghdad, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no common interests. One woman after another would seem just right, but there would always be something missing. Then one day, I met her; beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had very much in common. In fact, she was perfect!'
'So, what happened?' asked Nasruddin's friend, 'Why didn't you marry her?'
Nasruddin sipped his tea reflectively. 'Well,' he replied, 'it's really the sad story of my life.... It seemed that she was looking for the perfect man...' "
What the story teaches is that selfish expectations and attachments lead to unavoidable disappointment.
We want to get love, rather than give love.
We want to be understood, rather than understand.
We look for others to praise us, rather than give praise to others.
We don't like criticism, but we like to criticise others.
In every relationship, we learn that TRUE LOVE COMES WHEN ATTACHMENTS GO.
OneLove.
Attachment is based on your selfishness; If you are good to me, then I'll be good to you. If you love my children, I will love yours. If you tell me I'm pretty, I will tell you you're handsome. If you give me a gift, I will like you. If your interests are the same as mine, I will include you in my plans. If you help make my life easier, I will like you even better. Be honest....how many of us condition our relationships this way?
Attachment leads to possessiveness...MY friend, MY wife, MY husband, MY family...but at some point we all realize that we cannot own people. So possessiveness leads to FEAR of losing, fake affection out of fear, overprotection, jealousy, abuse or sometimes even the feeling of "I can't live without this person, I can't be happy without my car, my house, my boat, my job, my jewelry, my on and on and on....
I'm leading to the point that love with attachment consists of waves of emotion, up and down, in and out...creating invisible iron chains. Ordinary love can create bonds which may turn unpleasant because this ordinary love is based on selfishness. WE ARE ATTRACTED TO OTHERS BECAUSE THEY HELP US. This attraction causes an attachment which is an obstacle in being able to live happily together with the person.
Ordinary love asks How can this relationship fullfil MY needs?
Real love asks What can I do for YOU?
Attachment and ordinary love make us think we are seeing perfection in another person. Is it really there? No. Is this perfection we are looking for achievable? No. We are simply closing our eyes to the negatives because WE are being served well in this ordinary love.
I love this story and I think it will help illustrate my point:
One afternoon, Nasruddin and his friend were sitting in a cafe, drinking tea and talking about life and love. His friend asked: 'How come you never married?'
'Well,' said Nasruddin, 'to tell you the truth, I spend my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo I met a beautiful and intelligent woman, but she was unkind. Then in Baghdad, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no common interests. One woman after another would seem just right, but there would always be something missing. Then one day, I met her; beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had very much in common. In fact, she was perfect!'
'So, what happened?' asked Nasruddin's friend, 'Why didn't you marry her?'
Nasruddin sipped his tea reflectively. 'Well,' he replied, 'it's really the sad story of my life.... It seemed that she was looking for the perfect man...' "
What the story teaches is that selfish expectations and attachments lead to unavoidable disappointment.
We want to get love, rather than give love.
We want to be understood, rather than understand.
We look for others to praise us, rather than give praise to others.
We don't like criticism, but we like to criticise others.
In every relationship, we learn that TRUE LOVE COMES WHEN ATTACHMENTS GO.
OneLove.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Stretching My Heart Feels Sooooo Good
What a day to write my first post.....welcome to my blogspot by the way..! I'm not sure why I waited til now to start blogging. By "now" I mean summertime...when the hours are my own, sort of. Two of the three boys are out of town which just means I have something different to ponder on on a Friday afternoon other than the usual, who's at my house and how much of a mess is it???
When children are away from us we flex a little, we pull and push our emotions, we have to. We stretch our hearts. And you know what? it feels good. Not only the great distance physically that they are away from us but the sharing of their beautiful little selves causes a stretch, doesn't it? We savor and marvel and admire the little people in our homes...did they really come from me? did I have a thing to do with how wonderful they are? My gosh, look at them...look at him being so sweet to his friend or gosh look at him being not so sweet to his friend....hmmmm give him a minute, he'll come back. Oh good, there he is. :)
It feels good to share our children with friends and the families we love so much...to show them how full their hearts are and how willing they are to share the overflow. They show their funny little personalities and showcase their cooking talents and remind an aunt and uncle just how great their hugs feel. So I'm stretching for another week or so and in the little one's case, another 3 weeks...ouch! But the more I stretch, the more flexible I become to their going and doing and seeing and learning and building and discovering. It's part of the give and take of being this mom to these boys...OneLove.
When children are away from us we flex a little, we pull and push our emotions, we have to. We stretch our hearts. And you know what? it feels good. Not only the great distance physically that they are away from us but the sharing of their beautiful little selves causes a stretch, doesn't it? We savor and marvel and admire the little people in our homes...did they really come from me? did I have a thing to do with how wonderful they are? My gosh, look at them...look at him being so sweet to his friend or gosh look at him being not so sweet to his friend....hmmmm give him a minute, he'll come back. Oh good, there he is. :)
It feels good to share our children with friends and the families we love so much...to show them how full their hearts are and how willing they are to share the overflow. They show their funny little personalities and showcase their cooking talents and remind an aunt and uncle just how great their hugs feel. So I'm stretching for another week or so and in the little one's case, another 3 weeks...ouch! But the more I stretch, the more flexible I become to their going and doing and seeing and learning and building and discovering. It's part of the give and take of being this mom to these boys...OneLove.
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